


A comprehensive step by step guide: how to fall in love over and over again

by MayorOfCanTown



Series: Davekat fluff and prose [4]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anxiety, Character Study, Fluff, Happy, M/M, Panic Attacks, coffee shop AU, french pastries, humans and trolls coexist, im very tired, its like smut. but for your heart, no angst just fluff, no beta we die, prose fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:29:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26464948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayorOfCanTown/pseuds/MayorOfCanTown
Summary: Welcome to my guide! In this easy 6 step program, we will teach you all the basics of how to fall in love over and over and over again.Its a dumb coffee shop oneshot.
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Series: Davekat fluff and prose [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1099824
Comments: 10
Kudos: 73





	A comprehensive step by step guide: how to fall in love over and over again

Step 1: Pine.

The all-important starting step is to ensure to pine. When you enter your local cafe for your daily (or, at least, bi-weekly) coffee, do your best to ensure that the short troll with the nubby horns is not the one serving you. When you’re served, sit down and drink. While taking your drink on the road is possible, a very important step in this recipe is to sit down in the cafe: use this time to, hidden behind oversized sunglasses, stare at the aforementioned barista. 

Think about a number of features he possesses. This may include, but should not be limited to:  
\- How soft his features are  
\- How cute he is when he yells  
\- The curve of his jaw whenever he smiles  
\- How particular he is with coffee  
\- His hair, when he shakes it with both hands out of frustration  
\- The twitch of his ears

The more of these features you are able to incorporate, the more effective your pining will be.

Press your knuckles into the table, as if kneading bread dough. Think about just... smoothly walking up to him and asking for his number. Get apprehensive and refuse. Repeat the above steps at least 6 times, but as many as you wish, to taste. 

When you catch his eyes shooting in your direction, panic, but only inwardly. Take solace in the fact that your shades hide where you’re looking, and there’s no way he can see where you’re staring.

Step 2: Learn. 

Once your pining has reached its maximum, it’s the time to begin to learn things about your barista target. 

Learn that his name is Karkat.   
Learn that troll names sometimes don’t quite roll off the tongue like you thought.  
Learn that he likes big jumpers.   
Learn that he lives for dumb romantic movies.   
Learn that troll movies have stupidly long titles.   
Learn that you can still get caught staring. 

When you’ve picked up a few things about his personality, switch to studying physical features, with regular glances between sips of coffee. 

Learn that his hair stays messy, no matter what.   
Learn that his horns sometimes get lost up there.   
Learn he has scars on his arms.   
Learn he has different scars on his sides.   
Learn that you would die for his midriff. 

As best as you can, attempt not to drop dead when he stretches, and the slightly-too-small polo of his uniform exposes grey skin.

  
Step 3: Interact. 

In step 1, you noted it was imperative to ensure your target does not serve you on your regular coffee trips. Now, invert this. Stalwartly refuse to enter the cafe until you know that your target will be the free barista when you arrive at the counter. Catch yourself smiling like an idiot, and stop. Get worried. Start to panic. Begin to feel dizzy and lightheaded. Stop halfway through your order, and go find a seat somewhere. Pray to a god you don’t believe in that he doesn’t come to check on you.

Find your prayers unanswered.

Notice the genuine concern in his voice. Become confused by the caring words and tone mixed with the harsh tongue and vocabulary. Laugh a little, and brush off your minor panic as a “fit of the vapours”. Become completely enamoured with his laugh. 

When he offers to sit with you, to make sure everything is okay, agree. Write down your normal order and pass it off to someone else. Try not to think about how hard your head is spinning. Block it all out, and focus on the target across the table from you. 

Watch as he settles into his seat a little more. Cringe as he asks you if you’ve “eaten enough lately”, then subtly deflect. 

When he gets up, don’t take your eyes off him; trace his path behind the counter, and back to your table, carrying some French pastry you don’t know the name of. Stifle a laugh when he tells you it’s on the house. Pout. Tell him you don’t accept charity, and remember not to give in, no matter how much his eyes plead. 

Give in.

  
Step 4: Chase. 

Note: this step is not literal. Do not literally, physically chase your target. That’s what the cool kids call stalking. 

Look up the name of that pastry. When you next need a caffeine shot, make sure he’s serving you again, and ask for a Mille-Feuille, as well. Cringe for a second when he laughs at your completely butchered pronunciation, then laugh with him. Listen intently as he tells you it’s pronounced “meal-fway”, ramble for a little too long about what would happen if meals could fray like rope, and ignore his objections throughout in lieu of watching his face, eyes betraying how little conviction there is behind his harsh words. 

Introduce yourself, finally. Watch him laugh at you again, because he’s seen your name on cups for a long time now. Tell him a joke about giving your name to the fey, and definitely do not stutter at all the entire time.  
If he smiles and thanks you for remembering what he got for you that one time, smile back, and ask if he had any other recommendations, mister head chef. Laugh as he shakes his head, suggesting that everything else they stock in the entire cafe is garbage. Realise you're holding up the line, and shift along.

Find a shortbread on your plate, and a phone number on your cup.

Step 5: Court.

Text him before you even get home, and get told off for texting while walking. Retort that it looks cool, and then get told off again for abandoning him when you pay attention and actually put your phone away till you get home.

Form a habit with him. Send him stupid, overly dense, fried memes, and try your best to detangle the word vomit that comes after them every time. Send an ironically cute selfie one time, and be stunned by the silence. Quietly pray he returns the favour.

When he does, finally grace him with your own silence. Trace the outline of his features with your eyes, and make a motion with your hand to hold his face - be very glad that he can't see you for it. Fall harder, and faster.

Invite him out for something cute and cliche, like bowling. Claim it's ironic, but secretly enjoy it. Put the gutter rails up, and use the bowling ball slide they give to children, and have a great time laughing at how hilariously bad you both are. For your second game, try to score exactly 69 (nice). Barely manage to pass 40. Forgo the bowling to drag him to the arcade, and sink an obscene amount of money into the claw machine, and present a terrifyingly uncanny valley stuffed cat to him, by dropping to one knee. Watch in awe as his theatrical side is suddenly summoned to the surface, and act out a heart-wrenching proposal scene to a completely uninterested audience that skirts past you awkwardly.

Realise how similar you are, despite the loud/quiet dichotomy.

Step 6: Repeat As Appropriate

Propose to him many more times, with overacted dramatism masking genuine emotion.

If you wish, propose once without that mask.

Either way, continue to cultivate. Talk to your target, go through life with him, hold him close, find out what makes his smile light up your mind as he does the same to you.

Go to dinner, and people-watch. Pretend to be reading their minds, or dub over their conversations that you can't hear.

Go ice skating, and run your hand down the side of his face, like you were so glad he couldn't see before, and smile at how red he goes, before taking his gloved hand in your bare one and guiding him on how to stay upright.

Go dancing, and stare. Watch him move with grace and poise, but politely decline when he invites you to join him. Be ignored, and get dragged up, but let him push you away jokingly as you embarrass him with your inability to dance.

Go home, and dream. Dream a waking dream, every day, every second, pray you never leave the dream. Go to sleep, and wake up with him still next to you.

Promise to stay forever.

Do so.

**Author's Note:**

> I THOUGHT OF THIS CONCEPT AND HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE SINCE
> 
> thank u please provide ur comments i have to feed my family


End file.
